The Power of 'Maybe'

'Maybe' is an extremely powerful tool for well-being. The ability to refrain from judgement and acknowledge that we often do not know the value of an event until we can look back retrospectively allows us a great deal of psychological freedom. 'Maybe' allows us to be less reactive, stop knee-jerk emotional responding and keeps us curious.

As a psychological tool, I have found it to be extremely valuable to clients, especially with anxiety. Anxiety is often based on judgements about what an event can mean for the future. The anxious individual will often experience an event (oftentimes something that turns out to be innocuous) and think that he or she knows the catastrophic ramifications of that event. They are then overwhelmed by the thoughts and emotions regarding the impending doom. The power of 'maybe' can stop this downward spiral if a client learns to use it effectively. Next time you start catastrophizing after something has happened, recall this Chinese Zen story.

Once upon a time there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. All the neighbors came around that evening and said "That's too bad." And the farmer said, "Maybe." The next day the horse came back and brought seven wild horses with it. And all the neighbors came around and said, "That's great, isn't it?" And the farmer said, "Maybe."

The next day his son, who was attempting to tame one of these horses, and was riding it and was thrown broke his leg. And all the neighbors came around in the evening and said, "Well, that's too bad, isn't it?" and the farmer said, "Maybe."

The next day the conscription officers came around looking for people for the army. They rejected his son because he had a broken leg. And all the neighbors came around that evening and said, "Well, isn't that wonderful?" And the farmer said "Maybe."